I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
