I smell stomach acid.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
