you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
