i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this just has baby written all over it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
