gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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