you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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