just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize