The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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