Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
