I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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