how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
