she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
