i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
