there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
