Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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