I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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