Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
