so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
