I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
