i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
