Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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