I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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