but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Floor bacon is actually really good
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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