I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize