I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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