You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize