everyone is single if you try hard enough
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
