I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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