Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
