literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
