Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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