Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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