Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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(805): View more from California

Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

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(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.

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(509): View more from Washington

I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

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(607): View more from New York

So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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(716): View more from New York

You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.

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(305): View more from Florida

listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.

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