Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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