you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
