Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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