For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
