this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
