weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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