why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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