hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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