He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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