Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
