I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
