Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
