Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
