Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
