Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
