My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
