Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
