When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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