how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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