4 words: hood of his car
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
