I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
