I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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