Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
