Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
