Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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