I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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