he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
