two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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