remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
