pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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