the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize