So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
